WARNING: This article might shock you! Hopefully however, it will shock you into action rather than depression. Of course, a lot might depend on the way you look at things because, like many things in life, it can be taken either positively or negatively.

OK, so what are we talking about here? Well, it is my intention through this blog to help you gain not only a better sense of control of your classes, but also perhaps even of your life. It’s not my intention to make you realize all the things you don’t do in the classroom or to foster in you a complete sense of frustration and loss of self-esteem. In fact, what I will share with you is not specific to EFL or ESL teachers, but rather it relates to common elements that all teachers of all disciplines must address: classroom management and more generally life management skills.

In many ways, being a teacher has its up days and down days. Even the most experienced and in-control teachers will experience days that will make them wonder why they didn’t take up quantum mechanics or basket weaving instead of teaching. I’m sure you can relate.

When such frustration, as such, sets in, a good idea is to seek counsel from your peers. Talking with colleagues and sharing tips, tricks and sanity saving measures also drives home the message that you are not alone, and are indeed part of a larger collective. And, it can truly be a comforting feeling to know that you can tap into a community of professionals who share or have shared the same experiences and feelings (confusion, fear, despair) to some extent as you. Moreover, when the moment arrives that you say to yourself, “Now why didn’t I think of that?” then I will suggest that you will have reached a very important stage of your life long development: you will begin to reflect on your in-class demeanor, and that is truly a good thing!

It’s important that we question our actions in our classes, and more generally in our lives. In truth however, each of you might ask yourself the same question in totally different, albeit personally unique ways; each question speaking volumes about your respective characters. And of course, character, personality and self-worth all have a lot to do with how you handle yourself in the classroom, and probably in life, as well.

So, rather than my categorizing or stereotyping your response and the art of human ‘intrapersonal’ expression, I’ll leave it up to each of you, via the following task, to reflect on your mindset. Consider what each variation of vocal stress in the questions below means to you. To begin with, first close your eyes and say “Why didn’t I think of that?” Listen to which words you placed the stress on. Then, look below and read each of the statements to yourself with feeling, varying the stress on each word. Compare your original reading to the ones below:

• Why didn’t I think of that?
• Why didn’t I think of that?
• Why didn’t I think of that?
• Why didn’t I think of that?
• Why didn’t I think of that?

The way we perceive ourselves is often the image we project to others as well, so it’s no wonder why others perceive us in this way. Even our own mental dialogues reinforce this perception. When we think of ourselves as inherently good or bad in some respect, we begin to realize this vision through our actions, as well. Eventually we create what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. The consequence of playing this ‘mind game’ is that if you don’t think you can do something, chances are you will ensure that you probably won’t.

Now of course, there is no guarantee that just ‘wishful thinking’ or even ‘positive thinking’ alone will make us more successful in life, even though the practice can’t hurt. However, what’s important to remember is that the development of successful skills, whether they be management skills or critical thinking skills, demands practice. And, practice, as we all tell our students, requires time and opportunity.

I would like to once again remind you that teaching is an art. Of course, what we know about art is that it includes both comedy and drama. And, somewhere is the middle is what I believe is called ‘life’. Yes, to me, ‘life’ is the art of humanity and experiencing it is what I will call being fully human: encompassing and embracing both success and tragedy.

Speaking of tragedy, if at the time of this reading you are fretting over the fact that you feel you are without a doubt the worst teacher on this planet in terms of classroom management, fret not and take heart! For failure is sometimes the best teacher. This is especially true regarding anything we must tackle that is a skill. Yes, teaching is also a skill, and skills need practice. So you see that in some sense we have come full circle.

In terms of practice, it should come as no surprise that ‘trial and error’ is what makes us refine our skills. Much as it is true with art forms, talent is important, but it does not supplant knowledge and the application of that knowledge so that it is integrated with talent. OK, so how is this done? Well, this takes us right back to practice which is, as mentioned countless times above, what breeds skill.

In closing, I’m sure you are aware that most humanistic teachers will tell their students that errors are actually ‘learning opportunities’. So my dear colleagues, take this message to heart and ask yourselves one more question: isn’t it time we start practicing what we teach and stop beating ourselves up for our own shortcomings?

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– Author’s note: Adapted from my original article of a similar title that first appeared in ELT-Vista periodical (2007)